Let Him Be…

The distance we have mentally traveled in the past 12 months has far exceeded the actual physical mileage of our road trip.

We, as a team, have come so far in our understanding of this complex life we are navigating.  Owen has come to terms with the fact that he does indeed have Aspergers and Sensory Perception Disorder and DDMD. He no longer fights the diagnosis, or the label. He is getting used to the idea that he is different, but in a good way.

I have reached above and beyond for answers, help, support groups and understanding. I have come to the conclusion, that the most help I will ever receive will be from the Aspergers community I have met online, and from my very own family.

To just “let him be whoever he is” is pretty much my new and forever motto.

We have come so far in our understanding of each other. Our communication is not the normal communication of an 11 year old and his mother. It is that of a very intelligent, adult male, and his dear, cherished fan and friend.

I realize this is not an idea that will be accepted by 90% of my friends and family, and I acknowledge how strange it may sound to people that do not live our situation and are a part of our daily lives. And I’m not asking anyone to understand.  I am just stating how life is in our home.

He still has rules, a schedule, a mother. However, it is different in many other ways.

He is adjusting well to his new medication. It has helped him to be able to regulate his moods and his anger.

I no longer feel fear when he becomes angry.

We are back on a Home school schedule, although my teaching style has been changed a little to fit with his new maturity and choice of subjects, and we are in the process of writing our own curriculum for homeschooling in Political Science and Humanities. He is my co-author on several projects, only to probably surpass me before I ever become a published author myself.

He is a beautiful, intelligent young man. I am so proud to be a part of all the great things he will do within his lifetime.

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2 Comments

  1. As the mom of a 33 yr old Aspie son, I will tell you it is a good thing to know early (my son was not diagnosed until he was 19). I will also say that developmental delay is not developmental stoppage. My son lives on his own, has a job and while he still relies on us for direction in the big picture, we still marvel that he continues to show growth in his ability to perceive and understand human interactions and thoughtfulness. Most importantly, the bond with his mom is the strongest of any of his human relationships, his hugs show more and more warmth and love (instead of just mechanics) and he thinks of how I feel about things. Growth doesn’t stop. Be prepared for positive surprises as well as set-backs. Relax and breathe … and live in the present moment. All my best. Betty

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