Day 6

Disruptive Disregulation Mood Disorder (DDMD)

The mental diagnosis so far, is DDMD. This is a broad umbrella of symptoms and just a temporary diagnosis that goes along with his Depression and Aspergers.

We are both exhausted. The stress of being apart is really getting to us both. Owen is doing the very best he can, and I thank him daily for that, but I can still see and hear how completely it is wearing on him.

As for any physical diagnosis, we are at a stand still. Owen is refusing to have anymore blood drawn. I see this as his only means of controlling this terrible and frightening situation, so… I have decided it’s best just to take him home to Amarillo and let them do the testing there. The doctor here has already made referrals to the Ear, Nose, Throat Doctor and the Cardiologist. So we will just come home and proceed from here.

He has been placed on a few meds for depression and anxiety… But until we get the bloodwork done and back that is all I know to do.

i have truly appreciated every email, text, comment… Offer of support I have received. I have tried to make a point to respond to each of you, but my head is a jumble and at times a murky dark place. I do believe in the power of prayer, so by all means keep praying for Owen.

I do realize that much of Owens physical and mental problems are not my fault and just the way he is. But, as most moms know.. You can’t help but hurt and feel guilty that they are going through this.

I have felt very “alone” this week with just my thoughts and Facebook to keep me company… I have left my entire support group in the Texas Panhandle.. And without the daily hugs from Marissa and the pug, my sweet Nick just down the road, and my Daddy… I have had to sit and twiddle my thumbs alllllll week. Not good for a girl that already has a hard time opening up.  But, I don’t feel comfortable talking to others about all this either, so… I did this to myself.

i do love you all… I just have to process this alone.

Back to Owen, as far as I know… We will be headed home sometime Monday.  Thank goodness! 8 days is long enough.

Have a great Saturday.



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