After discovering the HH page. I quickly became convinced this was what was wrong with my son. I could not think of anything else. Christmas preparations were a blur. I over cleaned, over cooked, over spent…. I was all about the extravagance.
Christmas was fine, everyone seemed happy with the “Mexican Fiesta” theme. The food turned out delicious, the gifts were received excitedly. However, the looming cloud of “wish Mom was here” was forever present.
I have always tried to hide Owen’s rages from the family. I have always kept them hid from the Cable Guy. I was told repeatedly by my mother, that if the CG saw how my kids really acted… he would run away or never want to marry me. So, I just always kept them hidden from him. As for my dad, I always kept them hid away in the back room or quickly left their house if I sensed one starting, due to the repeated dialog from both my parents regarding how “spoiled he was” and how he just “needed more discipline”. With that said, when Owen started to have a complete and total rage fit, unprovoked and out of nowhere, on Christmas Day… Well, I let him go. CG saw it, Dad saw it, my sister saw it….. it was a mighty one to!
Afterwards, Dad stated: “I never realized he was not…. present… in his head, until now. We will get that boy fixed! We have to!”
CG recorded some of the meltdown with my phone, we got video of Owens dilated pupils, slobbering, violent attacks on me, and head banging.
Just as suddenly as he left me, Owen was back in his head… quietly sobbing and apologizing for ruining Christmas.
I laid in the floor with him for a long time, cuddling and cooing to him. He explained the rage coming on, likening it to a werewolf. Stating: “You know, Momma… It’s like I can feel it coming, like I can see the hair growing and the fingernails getting like claws… I know I am turning, I just can’t stop it. I can see what’s going on, some, but I can’t do anything to control it. I really feel like I am turning into a monster and I can’t stop it”
He was exhausted and headachy the remainder of the night.
I have to get my boy fixed! 😦