While visiting with Owens therapist, Kristen, during “family therapy”, I was told something interesting. Dr Tucker and Kristen have secretly dubbed Owen and I… The “1%”.
Evidently in Kirsten’s 10 years of being at Sundance, she has never met a duo quite like me and my boy. She said our love and the bond we share is special and amazing to watch.
She also asked me another question. “When is the last time you allowed yourself to just be… Alone and not worry, fret, or hurry home to Owen?”
I truthfully couldn’t answer. I seriously can’t remember the last time I was able to just… Relax.
She said that it is easy for moms of “special kids” to lose themselves in their child. They forget to take care of themselves until it is too late. That I needed to use this time apart to focus on relaxation and regrouping mentally, because the next phase will need me rested and ready to focus.
So, at doctors orders, I took myself to Chilies and had my favorite meal and a Blue Moon. I was ordered to sit there at least two hours and just relax and focus on my own thoughts.
Easy enough, right? Wrong.
I had not even placed my order, when in came a family of five. Mom, Dad, a boy and two little girls.
The mom, hands down, was the angriest person in the entire DFW area. She ranted & she raved, she fumed and she fussed…. She was loud and obnoxious, to the point that all us other patrons were looking to each other in despair.
Her anger was first directed towards her youngest daughter, who was obviously exhausted from school and kept laying her head down on the table. “What?!? Are you sick? Or just being a lazy little shit like usual?” The mother fumed.
Then it was the oldest girls turn, with the mother yelling into her ear about how the phone was going to get taken away if she didn’t decide on her order quick! The girl, used to it, shrugged said something that I guess was “burger” because that’s what they brought her, and put her ear buds back in and went back to the saftey of her iPhone.
By then Nick had called me and I was distracted for a few. But not long enough. Suddenly there was movement at their table, chairs went flying and mom was laying across the table slamming her sons head to the table. Words like “speck”, “trash”, “worthless”, “a nobody”, “piece of crap” and ” you have no voice, you are an idiot!” were fiercely spewed into his face, and all because he didn’t do something or other.
I really don’t know what this boy did to be yelled at in public like this, but that’s not the point. The point is… He was told these things, and it did not come across to me as a RARE occurrence.
I was hurt, furious and very emotional after hearing this. But the worst was when he was taken outside, right by my window, and spanked by the dad… For CRYING!
By now I am about done with my meal and pretty sick at what I had seen… Then Owen called. We spoke for just a minute, telling each other we miss each other and saying “I love you” over and over. I then told him that he is smart, beautiful and I am so very proud of him.
we hung up, and I glanced over and quickly realized the boy was there at the table alone, finishing his dinner, and listening to MY conversation with Owen.
I smiled at him, he smiled back… And this is our conversation:
Me: how old are you?
boy: 11, I’ll be 12 in November
me: oh! Cool, my son will be 12 in December.
me: so 6th grade huh?
boy: yes maam
me: you like it?
boy: not really, I have no friends, we just moved here.😦
me: aw, I’m sorry. Well you seem like a great kid, you’ll get to know people quick.
boy: I hope so…. So was that your son you were talking to?
me: yes…. He’s in a place getting help for his emotions. It’s hard on us being apart.
boy: (nodding head) ya I heard that.
me: so, I saw what happened awhile ago…
Boy: (nods and looks down)
me: I just want you to know, you are an awesome kid, you DO have a voice, and you are A great kid and I am proud of you. I don’t want you to ever feel like you are worthless, because you aren’t. Ok? Please always remember that!
boy: (looking at me dumbfounded with tears in his eyes) Thank you!
me: I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that, but I couldn’t help it! You seem like a great kid, what they did was not cool😦
Older woman behind me in a booth: no it was not, son! Not cool at all, and I feel just like this lady! Don’t believe that garbage! You are a beautiful boy!
boy: (wiping his eyes) thanks so much, I’ll never forget that.
(Interrupted by angry mom banging on window to hurry him up)
boy: smiles bye and leaves
you don’t have to pass it on by spending money. You can make someone’s day by giving them hope, understanding, sympathy, soooooo many things.
just like the saying for dogs that I post on my wall, says… You can’t save every dog (child) in the world… But for that one dog (child) you can change their world.